It's all about what we will do on what we have! When i seat back and relax it's sometimes reminds me about the memories that i left behind. Related with the title of my blog, i would like to relate the things that were happen in the past and the present. So distinct.. firstly, i will be really grateful and glad for those achievement and all the belongings that i have now, it is so praiseworthy and keeping myself aware that continuous effort and the attitude of keep on working until the last drop of sweat is so important (though most of it are not so big or so superior can be gauge in the monetary amount, but i 'm so glad to have it). Few years before, especially 5 years ago, things are so much differ than now, beginning with a mix-pouring emotion as a secondary school student, me and the buddies were aiming high to achieve the dreams, to get a great tertiary education or entering the university (of course, it is normal for a typical school boy). The afternoon time is being full filled by the hostel's routines and duties such as doing school homework and revision accordingly by the schedule provided. As a hostel boy, i'm only will met my parents once in a week during the church service, each week advices and motivation are given, and it does boost up my spirits, and also fading down my disappointment that are always occur, especially due to my poor performance in my study. At school also i will not be able to forgot my class (form 4 and 5, the only pure science class in my school) are divided unto 2 group or more familiarly known as "pole" a name that given by our english teacher about the situation in our classroom. And due to that, conflics and the differencess of opinions are always occur... but we are still united as one! What a differences or i usually call it spices that has bind us together! Ok, back to my dreams or our dreams... Me and the buddies, that consist of 6 of us were usually together, nothing that separate us, except the current situation where all of us are moving out due to fullfill the ambition or to pursue the studies. And i still remember our promise that we would not be separated and will be together if can in a same college and Uni, but i'm the one who the first that unable to fullfill it... and 4 of us who the dreams is to be in the medical school.. ended by only 2 were managed... and others are going to the different fields, as myself now. I will never forget the time that usually spend at the cyber cafe for lan gaming, the noise that we made in both public and school library, and also the time that we were punished due to miss appropriate manner at the schools, it is so sweet until will make me smile alone.. But the most important is about my family in the past years, where my Daddy is still there and continuosly giving myself a support and encouragement, he is always the first to enlighthen me up, cheering me, and giving myself a lot of advise beside of my mom and my other siblings and friends. But sadly, 2 years ago, about two weeks before i left for my studies, he leave us forever. Now, compare to the time that i've mentioned just now, situations changes a lot where time is superiorly flying very fast, meeting my family for just twice a year (normal cycle of the semeseter studies of the undergraduate) and also responsibilities that i hold now, the organisations that i involve and also what i need to fullfill as an undergraduate. Personally i will say that i'm proud and happy to be in this level and also gratefull for it, but off course i would not be easily content and promise to keep the hard work and to improve it from time to time. I also happy that God has given me an opportunity to know alot of people from a different background with a different view. But the most important are the supports and the prayer from both my Mommy and late Daddy, they taught and guide myself, so i never be easily satisfy and always keeping the effort and faith towards the almighty God! Honestly, the significant things that make myself feel so diference about now than in the past is not about who am i now and where do i am, but since Daddy left us or passed away, i'm personally feel my emotion in a deep sorrow and sadness, and i dint' have any words or phrase that will be able to mention that how i deeply miss him, not that i cannot accept the truth that he is no longer with us, but deep inside my heart i did not know how to express the lonelyness that i need to endures every days. I did able to control it day by day, but i do still miss him, and also it would remind me about mommy who is the bravest and the strongets woman ever. Sorry guys that this post is full scrap and unorganized manner of writing.. but t does make me feel satisfy and able to flow out my emotions...
Thanks for reading!
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