Finally!!
Alright, straight to the point of this sharing, I would like to talk about the great lesson that I've learnt throughout the final year of my varsity life, the "self acceptance" or about accepting yourself entirely, both of your inner side or physical outlook, your surrounding and so on..
To relate this with myself, I am a passionate person who really likes to aim high and push myself the best that I can.I can't be categorized as a smart or a high flying student, but for me the most important is whatever things that I am doing and the aim that I am pursuing, I always push the best that I can. Similar in as in the race, I always aiming for my "PB" or Personal Best. Therefore, usually, I will set up a target within the range that I am capable to achieve.
However, between this passionate behaviour,lies a negative attitude whereby, I really like to compare what I have and my achievements with the rest. Because one of my principle is, "it is OK for not being the highest achiever, but what I will obtain must be among the significant when it is compared with the rest and most important for me is the amount of satisfaction that I will get". When I didn't get the things that I want or being left far behind compare to the rest of the competitors, I'll definitely surrounded by the feeling of self-inferiority, stress and not to mention the level of disappointment that I will have.. It can be related with the law of physics, the higher the climb, the greater the pull of the gravitational force, and of course the greater the pain when you fell down.
Of course I will get up and continue the fight for redemption, but the feeling of guilty, sadness, and regret are hard to be eradicated and sometimes, it does wandering inside my head, especially when I am alone and have nothing to do. Sometimes, there are moments that I am looking down at myself and start whispering that I am still not good enough compare to the rest and of course it contributes towards the unhappiness and definitely the lack of confidence. I still remember, the failure to get the result that I want making myself drown in my emotion for few days, at that time I keep on saying that I am not good enough yet.. And it happen again when my project wasn't short listed for competition. I keep saying that I am such a failure..
My routine daily life continues.. Usually, I'll allocate around 5 minutes every morning once I get up, to read some inspirational quotes, stories and sharing (an important cross-training for my mind). 3 weeks ago, while surfing the YouTube for some motivational videos, I watched a clips about Nick Vujicic. An Australian guy who was born without both arms and only a small part of limb, he is not only enjoying his life but, without any hesitance, he is willing to share his stories to inspire the rest of the people.
"I love living life, I am Happy!"
Vujicic really likes to say the phrase in his sharing. This is very interesting because a person that is definitely considered by us as a physically disabled, is able to utilize his own capacity to live the life to the fullest and be happy. So how about ourself that is physically complete? What I can see in him is his attitude of Self Acceptance. Wholeheartedly, he accepts whatever that he has, especially his physical attributes and did not comparing himself with the rest who are physically perfect. And I realized that, misfortunes or set back does appeared throughout the journey of our life and of course the experience is different between each of us. However, it will never be able erase our capacity to live the life to the fullest and still enjoying the daily gifts that we obtained from above. Back to my own experience, it is hard to forget the failure, but the "wound" will be cured faster and your daily living will be meaningful if you are able to make yourself happy with what do you have right now.Always appreciate small wonders in your daily life
Self dissatisfaction sometimes caused me to keep on comparing myself between the rest of my friends that I considered much better than me. By doing this, it making myself taking for granted of the things that I have. Whether it is big or small, it will make a difference to someone else who is less fortunate. This reminds myself about the story of Neil Pasricha, which has been devastated by his divorce and another lost when his best friend committed suicide. Left with his family, he started his blog, the 1000 awesome things(http://1000awesomethings.com), describing about all the small joys that we will usually ignore, e.g a cashier open up a new lane in a grocery store, or getting a clean underwear from the drier. It does sounds ridiculous and funny, however it is still can be a wonder in our daily life. For me, things such as having a great numbers of awesome friends, lovable family, foodies, and opportunity to acquire numbers of awesome experiences is wonderful and should be appreciated. Remembering that we are blessed and fortunate compare to some of our counterparts will cultivate the Self acceptance. Thus, happiness will "automagically" comes!
The Book of Awesome by Parischa
At the peak of Gunung Datuk. A climb with a group of awesome friends can be considered as one of the wonderful things in my life!!
Accept the outcomes of your own efforts
It is very important to do the best that we can during the timeline given to accomplished an objective. However,recently I did realized that in order to move on to the next task or the new stage in our daily life, it also very important to let go all the doubt and the regret that we have experienced during or after the process of accomplishment.
As there is a parable saying that: "Dead by gone, be by gone" things happened during that time is already happened. Having a head-banging feeling of regret will never change the past, hence it will be an additional burden in your head that will be hindering yourself from accomplishing the next task. This is exactly what I am experiencing after my poster presentation (selection for the project competition) and when reading my dissertation (draft thesis) that I did not managed to proofread before submitting. Also, since we did the best that we can, there is no point to keep on comparing with what we have done and what we are getting with the rest of the people, since we did the best that we can. Therefore another lesson that I've learnt is to appreciate the moments or the chances that has been given to fulfil any objectives or task. Thus, accepting and appreciating your own achievement is very important.
